Tunde
Tunde
RomaniaAbout me
Where should I start? My name is Tunde. I have two siblings: a younger brother and a twin sister, Zsuzsa. We were born prematurely; Zsuzsa was the first one and because of the difficult birth she was left with a 80dB loss of hearing. I was the lucky one! I came into this world without any complications.
My Story
I hardly remember our early childhood, but my parents and my grandparents have told us a great deal, so that seem to have all those little stories in front of my eyes. Every minute of every day we were always together, unseparated. We played all day long. We got along very well, despite the fact that at that time we didn’t manage to communicate without barriers, because neither of us knew sign language. This is why Zsuzsa often started to cry.
When she wanted to tell a story and we couldn’t understand her she became very irritated, angry even, she would often throw fits and burst into tears. This is maybe why they always turned their attention to her, but this never bothered me. On the contrary, I also tried to help as much as I could. To this day, when I am almost twenty two, most of the times it is I that manages to comfort her when she is sad or angry about something.
After she started school many things have changed. We haven’t finished school in the same place, because Zsuzsa attended a special class, where, together with my mother and I, she learned sign language. This thing has made or life easier. And Zsuzsa became more self-confident, she is no longer as ashamed as she has been before. She is part of a very good group of friends, that she keeps contact with all the time even today, after finishing school for some time.
I have never been ashamed that Zsuzsa has a hearing loss; the thought never even crossed my mind. On the contrary, when it came to her, I have always been proud of how smart and self-sufficient she was, and of how well she manages by herself. It is simply that I feel that I have nothing to be ashamed of because she is the way she is. For she is no less than I am or anyone else that I know.
Zsuzsa often cries because I am more self-sufficient, because I go to University and I have good grades. But I feel, and this is what I tell her, that only because I am a student does not make me more special or better than her. I am sure that if she could speak well, she would have surpassed me in many areas, or…maybe she already has. She attended the courses of the Vocational School in Oradea, the tailoring class, and since January 2007 she has been working and managed to integrate perfectly at her job. She enjoys going every time. I, on the other hand, who knows…I will be graduating from University next year and will probably join my fellow University graduates who are unemployed.
Many times I feel she is more able than I am in many ways, she draws very well, she has so much attention to detail and is very practical. She has a strong character and she is ambitious.
I remember when we were preparing for catechism, for confirmation ceremony (in the protestant religion) and I had to translate the text in sign language. If it were up to me, I would have abandoned it because of the text which was too abstract and the writing was too ………. but, due to her huge enthusiasm, I continued. At the end a great sense of accomplishment came over us because we had managed to do this together.
In the past, many times I was hurting that Zsuzsa was deaf, and that because of this her possibilities are very limited. But today I can see things in a totally different light. I think that I can consider myself fortunate that Zsuzsa is my sister! I have learned so many things from her and I have become a better person under her influence. I have learned to fight everywhere and any time.
In spite of the fact that she has a hearing loss, she has a job, she has many friends and acquaintances, and she gets along with anyone even those people who don't know Sign Language. Ever since she has been working, she is trying to speak more and more, and she uses sign language less. Still it frustrates me sometimes that our parents and grandparents give her too much care and attention and I am not saying this because I am jealous but because I think the best way to help her is to let her manage by herself. She always feels good when she manages to solve a problem by herself.
In the end allow me to offer you a good piece of advice from my life experience, to others who have a brother or a sister with a hearing disability: in my opinion, the best therapy is to treat your brother or sister as your equal and make sure that they are challenged and have activities that they find difficult. This is how they learn to fight and to go forward.
I am extremely grateful for having the opportunity to have sister like Zsuzsa. I have received from her a more unconditioned love than I could express, and I think that I have no right to be unsatisfied.
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